2021 in a Blogpost

Yet another end of a year, I quite like these cliche moments we take time to reflect a little harder of what happened in the year. I had a rather slow year as clearly seen from the inactivity of this blog. Yet, in the time taken to rest (as just Nathan would put it, "just CHILL") it manifested into epiphanies of perspectives I thought I already knew but I realise I couldn't quite get with all the noise by keeping myself busy - it's as if the dust had settled.

I made quite a few obvious changes in my life:

1. I changed my job. A "YOLO" moment for me to be in one of history's monumental events - the Great Reshuffling. I never really had any issues in my previous role, I liked my team & the opportunities I had been given. Yet as a young & single millennial stereotype of that point of time, the lingering thought of "what-if" really got the better of me and I made the switch. Then again, no regrets :)
2. I did not end the year single as a Pringle. LOL. An unexpected encounter from the past. I'm constantly apprehensive about boy-girl relationships after going through a whole lot of shit shows in the past. It's nice to know someone with a shared experience, who understands and accepts and have a shared idea of how we just want to grow up from all our childish tendencies. I'm really lucky lol. 
3. I took a step back trying to be extra productive all the time. Sounds silly to many but it really took me a juggernaut of effort to just CHILL lol. There's always this little voice in my mind "am I doing enough today", I decided to shut that off for a while and do absolutely nothing and dang it was liberating. It's a definitely balancing act to keep one in check time to time.

Additionally, 3 key lessons I learned more wholeheartedly this year:

1. Trust the process. Despite understanding the concept, I find myself constantly succumbing to the idea of instant gratification most times. Progress has to be obvious, it must be seen, like I'm chasing to show increased profits in each quarter of an annual report. Yet, some things takes time. I slowly grasp the concept on marginal gains that often go unnoticed, that when one allows things to progress slowly, things are not that hard and can be easily attainable. I understood what it meant by small wins. Small wins end up amounting to a milestone.
2. It's okay to fail. Sometimes failures are not obvious, especially personal failures - did I do enough today? Did I clean my room today? Did I eat proper meals today? it's easy to brush off these little things because it sounds silly or embarrassing but it meant something to you. Likewise, small failures brushed off amount to the detriment of your own personal self-worth - of not being good enough.
3. Life is not a binary. One of my biggest takeaways being with Nathan is that my emotional intelligence is not that great. Haha okay kidding but is that life is not binary. Life can be malleable, it's okay to have a change of thought, decisions made together as a team, failure is not a turn-off, different situations calls for different responses, the whole plethora of values and ideas. 

In some way, I admit I was pretty embarrassed & afraid to be that person who just gave up, that person who was a one-hit wonder, that person who was only good at school but can't do well in the working world; I always raised the expectation bar for myself. I guess I was afraid what society thought of me. But I guess once you learn to accept your failures properly, it's hard to be shaken by the words of what people have to say and in some way, it's easier to trust the process and mould life in a way that works best for oneself.

Happy New Year :) 

Half-year Review: June 2021

Oh 2021, how you flew. We're now marching on to the halfway mark of the year and boy, a lot had happening since the time I was away from this space. It's almost irrational to believe that everything happened out of pure coincidence.

A few major milestone:

• I did a career switch - an entirely new role (hint: KPIs) in a tech company. It's been a month since I've started and it's definitely been a whole new ball game. Bonus is that I managed to exceed my ramp targets this month ^_^v. 
• I acquired a road bike finally and with it, a cycling buddy-confidante-personal welfare officer-very nice guy- in essence, a partner in all the romantic sense. 
• Ended my rent outside with best #landlordseva and I have since been home. 
• Became a morning person again, as I type this in the wee hours of the night, ironically.. 
• This list is non-exhaustive.

Life at the moment feels rather surreal. It is as if all these micro decisions I have made so far has resulted in the creation of this amalgamation of a picture of my life I can visually see at this very moment. As much as there were many events that happened that were completely out of my control, somehow luck finds itself at midpoint where preparation meets opportunity.

There were a few key things I've learn:

• A growth mindset that we can always learn new things if we take time and effort
• How vital it is to learn to feel feelings: the good and especially, the bad. 
• Being infinitely curious and empathetic makes you a better listener and communicator.
• What it means to be human: a flawed being and that we can constantly making marginal adjustments to improve, adjust and adapt. 
• Creating spaced consistency, in essence learning to pause and rest. And while at it, appreciating the normality of the ordinary and how ordinary be defined so differently to different people. 

Throughout these months, I learned to internalise what it meant that personal fulfilment and success can be non-binary, and completely individualistic. It's still a personal struggle and I'm glad I'm getting somewhere. But what I found is that is so much joy learning in embracing adversities and tackle challenges genuinely rather than to simply accept them begrudgingly. 

The question begs: where's the fun in having everything put together so easily? Doing things would feel like a means to an end.

I like a fun challenge.

Monthly Review: March 2021

I've been away from this space for quite some time now - quite some time if you considered the frequency I've published in 2020. 

My lifestyle took a drastic change; I've been recalibrating my priorities, adjusting how I view life in general and how I've have been doing things. I long for that sense of epiphany again. 

Additionally, I've had a few personal milestones. For one, I'm finally able to drive on my own after having a Class 3 driving's licence for more than half a decade (thank you, me or really, my dad who decided I should be driving), I had the chance to sit at the adult table at work (pretty fun) and I rekindled with an old hobby of mine. I learned to rest, like, completely doing utter nothingness kind of rest.

I learned how to focus on what was important to me, oxymoronically this was a hard topic for me, it was hard to realise for that matter. It felt for a period of time, I was really going through the motion, I had a personal fear that I would wind up becoming that half-hearted lazy person I was during my adolescent years.. that I didn't live up to my potential, that I was afraid of having lost years again. Perhaps I got too carried away with that thought, to a point it got exhausting. 

What or who am I trying to prove? Honestly, no one really gives a ****.

In the short span of 2021, there were quite a number of key lessons I've picked up. I thought I would document them in this space in case I would like to revisit them again (God knows I never ever read my handwritten journals, ever, thanks to ugly handwriting).

1) A tool is only useful if you know how to use it

Saw this on my friend's blog, and dang it was true af. In such a fast paced era we live that has been becoming increasingly competitive, there's this fear of having to stay relevant and marketable. I've seen "coding"," data scientist", "learning language" getting thrown around as if everyone has to be a complete expert in order to stay relevant. Heck, no. From what I've learned, yes they are important but if there's no application, they are as good as obsolete. These newly acquired skills get stashed at the back of your brain, waiting to be forgotten. You kinda just need enough to do what you need (then learn from there) or to properly communicate with others on these topics.

2) The answers are never and will never will be black and white

(FYI. I'm not talking about math here if you think I'm referring to 1+1=2.)

I don't know if it's because of Singaporean's education system or my personal fear to view failure as wasted time, but truly, there's a need to experience that sense of falling short in order to fully understand and appreciate progress. As I've constantly mentioned to myself (excuse the amount of reminders I need to tell myself), there will never be a cookie cutter solution. I've seen it and done it in both my work and personal life, attempting to bring in a "model solution" into a company only to realise that the real world does not work that way, trying to imitate the regimes of people who succeeded in certain things. I somehow always end up falling short or faring worse than I initially did. To a large extent, having an initial set of instructions does help, but allowing yourself to fail and flexible allows for better conclusions (God, sometimes I love that I was an Arts student in uni). As the yogis put it, everyone is on their own journey.

3) Spaced consistency is key

Having that space to breathe and rest allows for sustainability and rekindled motivation. Allow a state complete rest and to work on frivolous things - many have coined this as "self care". Even more so, new and better ideas can even come from here.

To conclude, I guess, as with us physically, the state of mind is ever changing. Be it as it may, there's no one logical answer to answer life's questions. How do we logically answer everything we do/choose? and if we chose to do something and decide that our answers had changed later, should we be ridiculed just because it is not what we initially sought out to do? No. Our external environment is constantly changing, thoughts are constantly evolving, ever changing. If I said something now, perhaps in a few years things may change, just as we gain new knowledge and perspective. Perhaps this is how human kind has progressed, resulting in the undulated views of life across different generations. In all honesty, this conclusion is a tough one for me to swallow. Yet, somehow there is a beauty in it, in a way that you will always have that chance to choose, to rest, to rediscover.. Alright I'm not going to be all philosophical here but the point is, life is a journey not a destination. 

Ok back to watching and reading Coraline theories online and why Chinese women did foot binding in the past (ugh)... 

Goodnight.

About Family

 One of life’s ironies is that you tend to only take action when things are out of reach. 

The topic on family really came up recently when I spoke to my manager on the topic; sometimes as much as it’s commendable to be self resourceful, it’s important to know members in your family aren’t getting any younger. Additionally, a series of events made me think a little deeper.

 

We’ve been visiting my grandfather (whom took care of me when i was younger) in the hospital, I spoke to someone whose grandmother recently passed away, I was speaking to one of my closest friends about family and I recently read a book on business and life (more on that next time). 

I find myself hypocritical, going around sharing about how I prioritise family but take little effort to spend time with my own. I find myself dismissive of good intent. It really helps to simply listen - something I learned that from recent work experience. Every part of your life does intertwine, huh. 

 

It’a funny, the mid twenties. You go through this transitional phase where you start finding out about yourself a whole lot more. Everything is the world becomes grey and it’s an open field on how you choose to live your life. Societal comparison has no end and the true benchmark of success and happiness goes undefined. Things I used to be so dismissive about somehow finds itself back in full circle, somehow are made aware. 

 

While I haven’t experienced the true phenomenon of loss, as my friend said it: loss is not the intend to punish us, it intends to help us treasure what we should in life.

ps. i had alot of grammar and sentence structure problems typing this earlier, it was out of mind. edited

 

Two weeks into 2021

We're now saying goodbye to the first two weeks of the year 2021. Time flew for me. I've been caught up with myself, spending quality time with myself. I've been trying to define, refine and be fully aware of what I'm feeling and how I react to situations. 

I recently picked up yoga (finally). Despite only having gone for two weeks, I was sold. I finally got it, I got the "woo-woo" of yoga - the practice of the meditation, the mindfulness, the nothingness and being fully aware of the present. These fundamentals I acquired have so far been so beneficial in both the physical and mental parts of my life. I has helped me refocus, be aware and be confident. I've been so preachy about yoga and religious about going for classes I shock myself sometimes - waking up at 5.45 am to get to 7.00 am classes, is that even me? I'm hopeful to keep an update of this journey ^^

On the professional side, work has been picking up speed. Things I did not understand before were now starting to make sense (that "oooooh I get it" moments flooding in). I finally understood what it meant by fundamentally understanding why we do a certain task we do in a certain way, that sense of urgency that led to process improvements, the proactiveness the job requires and learning to prioritise. It's so different from the role I once had in my first corporate job. Challenging but fulfilling. Additionally, I'm starting to feel like I'm getting to know my team on a deeper level and I'm really appreciating their company much more.

It's funny how we like scoffing off about new year being well, new year yet many of us take the start of the year to reset and subconsciously take notice of what happened over a course of a period in the past; its successes and the lessons learned. Without it, will most of us take effort to re-evaluate ourselves? 

I count that as a good thing.

An Excerpt

A kind reminder that there is no cookie cutter solution. A reminder to listen and be open to perspectives.

 “Consider, for example, the history of mankind’s attempts to fly. Early researchers observed strong correlations between being able to fly and having feathers and wings. Stories of men attempting to fly by strapping on wings date back hundreds of years. They were replicating what they believed allowed birds to soar: wings and feathers. Possessing these attributes had a high correlation—a connection between two things—with the ability to fly, but when humans attempted to follow what they believed were “best practices” of the most successful fliers by strapping on wings, then jumping off cathedrals and flapping hard … they failed. 

The mistake was that although feathers and wings were correlated with flying, the would-be aviators did not understand the fundamental causal mechanism—what actually causes something to happen—that enabled certain creatures to fly. The real breakthrough in human flight didn’t come from crafting better wings or using more feathers. It was brought about by Dutch-Swiss mathematician Daniel Bernoulli and his book Hydrodynamica, a study of fluid mechanics. In 1738, he outlined what was to become known as Bernoulli’s principle, a theory that, when “applied to flight, explained the concept of lift. We had gone from correlation (wings and feathers) to causality (lift). 

Modern flight can be traced directly back to the development and adoption of this theory. But even the breakthrough understanding of the cause of flight still wasn’t enough to make flight perfectly reliable. When an airplane crashed, researchers then had to ask, “What was it about the circumstances of that particular attempt to fly that led to failure? Wind? Fog? The angle of the aircraft?” Researchers could then define what rules pilots needed to follow in order to succeed in each different circumstance. That’s a hallmark of good theory: it dispenses its advice in “if-then” statements.” 

 The Power of Theory in Our Lives  

How do fundamental theories relate to finding happiness in life? The appeal of easy answers—of strapping on wings and feathers—is incredibly alluring. Whether these answers come from writers who are hawking guaranteed steps for making millions, or the four things you have to do to be happy in marriage, we want to believe they will work. But so much of what’s become popular thinking isn’t grounded in anything more than a series of anecdotes. Solving the challenges in your life requires a deep understanding of what causes what to happen.

...

just as these theories have explained behavior in a wide range of circumstances, so, too, do they apply across a wide range of questions. With most complex problems it’s rarely as simple as identifying the one and only theory that helps solve the problem. There can be multiple theories that provide insight. For example, though Bernoulli’s thinking was a significant breakthrough, it took other work—such as understanding gravity and resistance—to fully explain flight.”

Excerpt From 

How Will You Measure Your Life? 

Christensen, Clayton M.

Three principles I would like to start practicing in 2021

 "An idle's mind is a devil's workshop" - a quote my mom loves to remind me. Indeed.

 

Happy first day of work : >

Contracting dengue fever last month disrupted many of my year-end plans and staying at home, being unable to do anything for weeks led to some sort of mild cabin fever and a mini existential crisis. I'm being pretty melodramatic at this point but being sick really sucked :<

While I personally believe that the best time to work on personal goals - or any goals for that matter - is now, and not to wait 'til the New Year's, dengue struck me at such an apt timing I thought I should do one. 

 my new year's resolution is a personal topic on its own (and is still to be refined), here's a really short and sweet entry about three general key principles I would like to start practicing this year:

1) Focus

2 types of focus I would like to work on:

• Focus when it comes to working on current tasks 
• Focus when it comes to working on goals

Looking back at 2020, I could see myself paving away from things I've initially set out to do, moments that I felt like I was going through the motion and was constantly distracted by other frivolous tasks (what's new). I guess in some way how 2020 worked out was clearly unprecedented, this year in 2021, I hope to refocus on myself in a timely manner and gain clarity in my objectives, be it in my personal or professional life.

2) Patience

In the era of instant gratification and quick fixes, focus and patience can intertwined so deeply. Learning to trust the process especially when times get hard, accept mistakes and failures, learning to quit at the right time can be so much easier said than done, especially when things take time. It takes faith. As cliche as it sounds, life is not a sprint but a marathon. Perhaps there's a reason why millennials are labelled as the burned out generation.

3) Confidence

My definition of confidence here is self reassurance. Reassurance that I shouldn't be afraid to ask when I am unsure, insecure about my lack of knowledge and clarity in terms of sharing my train of thought (even if it is incorrect). I hope in some way I'll be able to become a listener, be more teachable and even more open to new perspectives.

Additionally, I want to try this out, the 1-3-5 to do list rule. I remembered a friend sending me this back in my university days on how to prioritise a to-do list, work pretty well for him. I thought I should try it too :) There are just way too many things I want to do and so little time..

Aite, time for bed, goodnight!

Monthly Review: 2020 in Summary

It's new year's eve.

Mindless rant

December had always been a peculiar month for me in some unfortunate way. This time I was down with dengue, had fever and was bedridden for a week, then having little to no energy for the next and got warded for low blood platelet count. For a moment, I felt like I took my health for granted and experienced a mini existential crisis (what is real life, is this a social construct I'm following? Blue pill or the red pill? What.)

As always, as the year ends, the energy in me depletes, the intrinsic motivation deteriorates and I've somehow transcended into an idle state of mind that I want to do absolutely nothing, then it triggers another existential crisis and then I go through the tantamount to a vicious cycle - such is life.

Is ignorance is a bliss? Should everyone be subjected to conformity? Would society function better that way? The illusion of choice? An top down approach (i.e. an authoritarian economy) would prove more efficient? Then what happens to creative disruption and innovative exuberance? eh stop questioning life la abi, gosh. 

Okok misery aside, I thought it would be nice to summarise this year.

2020 in summary

2020 felt particularly long. The world paused for an unexpectedly brief moment that created a ripple in a series of events, amounting to significant shifts in the way we worked and lived, from a macro policy/economic/organisational level down to the individual. The year felt delirious, rather different and unexpected. At least within my own circle of friends, it's of a general consensus that the year coerced us to pause, to think a little harder and question own personal beliefs and perspectives a little more . 

Personally, 2020 hit a little harder, I've made pivotal decisions that threaded along the grey areas of what is viewed as a norm here in Singapore. I took a leap of faith in many of my own personal choices - in terms the values I wanted to uphold, the kind of lifestyle I wanted to live and the kind of people I wanted to hang out with. These decisions heavily influenced how I felt, that gradually shaped my outlook towards life. I believe that it has been for the better. I've become more aware about myself, not only with age and experience. As difficult as it is, I constantly strive to accept myself as a person in terms of the good, bad and ugly. 

That said, here's an extremely brief summary of the milestones I had for 2020. 

Milestones for 2020

January - 

• started the year completely burned out from 2019
• accomplished almost all my monthly goals
• decided to be consistent on this blog 
• made a habit tracker

February -

• went to the only and very last overseas trip of the year to JB, Malaysia - so sed but was fun 
• Mercer Debates Champions woot woot but I'm still a little salty I didn't get to eat that fancy dinner.. > : - ( heeh

March -

• took a leap of faith an changed my job for the first time in my career life!
• lockdown happened 

April -

• completed my monthly personal finance tracker thingy in terms of expenditure, insurance and investment - in a way, it changed how I viewed money
• questioned my life quite a bit at this point

May -

• picked up a paintbrush and did a 30-day challenge

June -

• picked up a paintbrush and did ANOTHER 30-day challenge - this was crazy tiring but pretty nice to look back on

July -

• role in my new job expanded
• moved out of my parents' place omg
• voted for the first time for Singapore's general elections ^_^ stayed up late to watch the elections (this was dam fun lol)

August - 

• I am officially in the late 20s (how is this even a milestone lol)
• decided to clock some running mileage 
• healthy living (OKAY this I ADMIT WAS TOUGH)
• independent life is awesome :P ok only if you live with the right people haha

September -

• met someone super cool and interesting (how is this a mile stone no.2)
• decided to relive uni days with uni friends and did a case competition 

October -

• got my wisdom teeth pulled out by a student - she did a dam good job btw~
• finish another series of artwork heeh - sloths 

November -

• case comp ended with us being top 5, this was both tiring and fun :P (yes I have very limited vocabulary - everything is fun..) 

December -

• contracted dengue for the second time in my life, got hospitalised, existential crisis, life has its way of throwing curve balls
• couldn't go to the art exhibit that I wanted to because I was sick sed

Other milestones not quantifiable in months

• Blogged super consistently (to date, I am still very amazed with myself) 
• Never used a planner so consistently in my life
• Never painted so much in a year in my life
• Read the most number of books in my entire life (18!) 
• Clocked in >1000km this year - I recorded my runs in too many different places lol 
• Learned so much more about myself mentally and physically 
• Spent my time more wisely, maybe a little too wisely.. 
• Spent more quality time with people I cared about

Summary

While the moments I've mentioned were the more positive series of events, there were many instances that broke me as well. Instances that made me question decisions I made, times where felt really ugly and hated myself, occasions where I completely struggled and burned out. Then again, this is life and how we grow. Life has its ways of throwing curve balls. Funnily, knowing this, it taught me to be more aware about people's own personal struggles and how I approached conversations, learning to be sympathetic, empathetic where possible and compassionate. We're all works in progress and what's to hate in that? Reciprocally, I am extremely thankful for supportive colleagues, ex-colleagues, friends and family who accept parts of me that aren't all that pretty. I hope I'll never take these for granted, ever.

If there were one quintessential takeaway from 2020, it's interesting how "luck" or "chance" can be partly determined by how you choose to look at your own life. It sounds so simple yet conveniently ignored by many and a constant struggle for those who are aware.

That said, as 2020 draws to a close, I'm grateful for the experiences that came, the struggles that I've encountered and the sweet moments that I was able to feel. 

I'm hopeful 2021 will be a better year :)

Goodbye 2020, thanks for the ride.

 

ps. I really wanted to put some moments in 2020 with people inside but I'm abit lazy lol - might do it later, might not. :>

November in Pictures

Aaaaand that's the end of one long weekend for me. Pretty proud that I got my butt out to run some errands today. Managed to get most things I had sought out to do done. 

Chilling to some random indie alternative kind of music while loosely curating pictures for this quick entry.

November didn't look as gloomy as what I had initially thought. 

Time for bed. Goodnight.

In processed film

It's November; 2020 has been a really weird year where the world came to an unprecedented pause. Some things came crumbing down while others accelerated. It felt like many things were a matter of luck and it depended on where you were at that point of time. While adversity had brought opportunities, the uncertainty felt emotionally was inevitable and omnipresent.

The question struck me on a quiet stroll this morning: to what extend should we foster control within our own lives? At least from a perspective of a female in her 20s, it feels like there's this unspoken mad rush to achieve all those "single person's" goals before 30, before all the responsibilities kick in. What are we so hung up about, really? Can we enjoy the moment while at work? I guess that's where beliefs and values come in - the kind of constants that stand the test of time when you face uncertainty or enter uncharted waters. The reason why religion holds paramount importance in believers.

As I take time to reflect back on the accountability I hold onto myself over the months of this year, I think I've said what I've said here countless times. Yet time and time again, these beliefs and values get lost in the noise of everyday living. This space has indeed serve me a good reminder to be constantly cautiously aware of my own emotions and feelings, especially when the world catches on.

I find myself feeling a little more thankful and appreciative on the weekends and I'm pretty happy I found a form of space and serenity coming in terms with my own thoughts and why I feel a certain way. I owe these to a great deal of people who radiated positively in my life and supported me in their own unique ways. 

Thoughts aside, my brother handed me down a no-frills refillable film camera during circuit breaker days and man, am I bad with a film camera. The pictures processed were the result of my entire guesswork and there was a good sum of pictures taken that obviously did not make the cut. In spite of that, it was pretty fun to see what you have taken and forgotten. Thank God for the invention of digitalised photos, I edited many of these pictures taken. Here are my favourite few :)

exploring The Central Business District with the brother

high tea with the Mercer colleagues, finally an excuse to dress up during the circuit breaker period

the two goodest bois

:)

 

Monthly Review: October

I've been going in and out of sleep today post wisdom teeth extraction. In some way, it reminded me how deprived I am of a proper break. It felt timely. It felt good.

October was an interesting month: I had many many positive moments, some dull, trying moments and fleeting fulfilling moments. October was extremely busy for me but it felt like a good kind of busy, the ones that I feel like I'm moving forward, working towards something though candidly, I really needed a proper respite. 

The month I had set up some goals for myself:

1. be better at C&B - 1. always a learning journey, I feel like I'm starting to understand the businesses in my firm better now :)
2. be better at global mobility - 1. NOT QUITE THERE YET. but dang I really learned a lot this month, like. a lot. daaang. hahaha
3. complete a series of paintings - 1. I DID woah. to be frank I thought I would have given up on this goal this week but deadlines do work their magic when it comes to completing something. I'm quite proud of completing this one :) you can see the works here (1) (2)
4. blog once a week - 1. don't know how I managed to do this but I did... somehow.. some shitty posts.. but hey still did right #selfconsolation
5. eat more healthily - 1. 
6. read 1 book - 1/2. I've been reading good economics for hard times for quite some time now and it seems like I've been taking forever to complete it but yet again I don't really want to rush it through just to complete it by October.
7. get a bike - 0. why is everything I want sold out why.

Things that went well:

• spent quality time with people I cared about and I really liked that
• felt like I learned a lot and was given a lot of opportunities at work this month, like A LOT.
• managed to spend some time after office hours virtually with the econs uni friends this month on a small case project (to nurse the nostalgia :P) and we somehow managed to move forward into the next round - what are we haha. 

what can be improved on:

• I haven't been sleeping very well recently, I'm not entirely sure what's the source of this issue
• there were moments I felt pretty overwhelmed. Albeit very short moments, I personally feel this can be a slippery slope. I think I could manage it better by taking one step at a time and being in the present
• I think I can learn to "chill" a little bit better. 2020 has been a really weird year for work and to find reasons to take leave (gosh. why do I sound like a workaholic, I'm really not lol) I really should.

Anyway fun part! Below is a collage of a few of my favourite and extra favourite moments in picture format (please excuse narcissism #selflove), these are not exhaustive :)

(I said I was going to rest today yet somehow I managed to whip up an entire entry and properly curate my pictures for this entry. but this was nice :))

Takeaways from Architecture

This entry was inspired by an earlier conversation with Jing Ting during our typical Yishun Park Hawker Centre breakfast meet up :P We were talking about what we would have done differently back in uni if we did not have the constraints we had then and with the knowledge we had now. 

My immediate answer was that I would have done much more at the very start if I hadn't chosen architecture (archi) as my major initially - have a campus life, joined more extra curricular activities, planned my modules better, travelled more, picked up a third language etc. - be that typical undergrad. 

Yet, on second thought, I realized how the grind in that single semester eventually shaped my thinking today and brought about many positive qualities I have that I could have never gotten if I majored in economics from the start. I sum them up into three simple key takeaways: 

1. More grit - I'm going to make a super bias standpoint here: no major is as crazy as architecture (or design major for that matter lol). 
• For one, pulling off a few days of all-nighters were a norm and the hard work never translated to results. It's no one's fault, design (and even life) is subjective and you just can't please everyone. I learn to accept failures better and more quickly and move on.
• It also taught me that sometimes it's better to scrape an idea in entirety than waste your efforts trying to salvage it. Ideas should be tested but sometimes they just don't work and that's totally okay. 
• When work gets hard, I like to tell myself "nothing is harder than going through architecture (kudos to all my friends who completed the degree lol)"
2. Develop a visual mindset - as fluffy as it sound, this has become heavily ingrained in so many things I do.
• Work wise, I find it amazing how tiny tweaks on colours and text in an email or powerpoint presentation can affect the message you're sending across to your audience.
• Personal life wise, it helped me appreciate the idea of minimalism and organise my space better :)
3. A hobby - I guess I still love the major in some way but not enough to pursue it as a profession :P I like painting buildings and landscapes of places whenever I'm overseas. I find it really satisfying how I'm able to keep a tangible record of my works and see how far I've come since I first started. Here's some I did over the few weeks :)

Also a huge huge plus: I wouldn't have met my landlords if not for architecture and relate to them on such an intrinsic level hehe. 

I guess it's always easy to brush off our past in a way that we wish we could have done more or better. Yet at that very moment, it could very well be something that you had to do in order to become who you are today. At the end, for me, it's how you use these past experiences to make more informed decisions in the present, be it for better or for worse. I would very well choose the former. 

As with everyone, Jing Ting had her own "could haves", one of which was to go on student exchange twice, but if she did, she wouldn't have met this very awesome person - me! - HAHA ok I kid about the awesome part. Likewise, I wouldn't have met her :) 

Happy Sunday~

I tried this healthy lifestyle thingy for a month..

I’m always someone who is so iffy when it comes to talking about making better changes in my own current lifestyle. I’m always afraid that these new lifestyle changes would end up being something really short term. But then again, I’ve met so many amazing people around me who had been so supportive and encouraging that I hope my story would, in some way, inspire someone to start a healthier living too :) 

Executive summary 

If I were to conclude what’s the most important outcome or learning on this, it is that everyone’s lifestyle and goals are different and as cliché as it is.. it is very individualistic. Do what works for you and always encourage and celebrate small wins.

Backstory 

After a month of adjusting and figuring my whereabouts at my new place, my landlord and I decided we should start working on a healthier lifestyle when it came to the diet we had and exercise. And we had since done it for about a month. Beforehand, we set a certain criteria of what we defined as a "healthier" lifestyle: 

Considerations 

• No yo-yo diet fad - this lifestyle shouldn’t be short term, it should be sustainable 
• It should require as little discipline as possible 
• Both food and exercise should be enjoyable - I decided running to be my primary exercise; it has always been the way I escape from stress 
• Also, the weather in the morning is perfect for runs, especially while staying near a reservoir 

Habit timeline on a weekday 

While I don't follow this regime with 100% accuracy, this is typically how my weekday would look like 

• 6.00am: wake up 
• 6.30am - 7.30/8.00 am: go for a run in the amazing weather ~4-10km (note: I ran a marathon last year so this required little effort for me) 
• 8.00am - 8.30am: stretch, change up, breakfast (baked oats with cheese is the most amazing thing on earth ok) 
• 8.30am - 12.30pm: work 
• 12.30pm - 1.30pm: cook and eat lunch/ eat porridge 
• 1.30pm - 6.00pm: work 
• 6.00pm - 7.30pm: go for a run ~4-10km + circuit/skipping 
• After 7.00pm: discretionary based on day to day priorities 

(as told by Pearl :P)

Results 

• While I didn’t lose much weight, I did see quite a stark difference in my appearance. In some way, I'm starting to feel much happier about how I looked. 
• I actually enjoy this new lifestyle as compared to the one I had in the past 
• I was able to focus better in the process 
• I definitely feel mentally better! I enjoy what I eat much more 
• Ironically, I became quite the vegetarian through the process 
• My skin got better, weirdly
• I’ve become a more encouraging person to people around me - small progress is better than no progress :)

(omg. my fav.)

(when I said I do chill runs, I'm really doing chill slow pace runs..)

(a comparison between last year and this year :P - what one month can doo)

Data

Of course not forgetting some data I collected to track my progress :P Truth be told, it was demoralising to see the figures at first. But with a steady set of numbers to look at now, it's really interesting to see how everything adds up. 

 

Lessons learned 

• A healthy lifestyle should be a habit and effortless 
• Little progress is better than zero progress 
• As cliché as it is, it is ultimately all in the mind 

It has so far been pretty sustainable, let's see how long I'm able to keep this going :)

26

I have officially surpassed my mid twenties. While my life is not perfect - I'm not married, I don't have kids, I'm still finding my way around - I must say I feel really blessed to feel comfortable with where I am and who I am at now. A few things I'm extremely thankful in 2020:

• I think I've been the most positive I've been in my entire life
• I've been the most consistent in my life so far in terms of what I do 
• I have a healthy lifestyle which I'm truly enjoying
• I've recently started to feel much more comfortable under my own skin
• I'm really starting to appreciate this baby face of mine - I'm finally taking the comment of "why do you look so young" as a compliment :)
• I am in a profession I enjoy; where I feel challenged, that I'm learning, where I enjoy working with my colleagues
• I've met so many good people during my school time and during my career
• I appreciate my family a lot more than I did in the past
• I enjoy the way I spend and save my money
• I enjoy having very few material things in my life 

While life hasn't gone the way I've initially intended, where it has its moments of ups and down, I'm hoping to embrace and enjoy every moment. 

Welcome to the late twenties Abi.

Ps: vanity moment: I'm never really sure where my best angle is at when it comes to the camera, I look too different on both side :)

August Photo Log

A series of pictures of the things I did over the past two weeks. 

I'm taking this August to count my blessings, unwind, catch up with both friends and family. All kept within government social guidelines of course ;)

I've been feeling pretty thankful this month :)