Monthly Review: 2020 in Summary

It's new year's eve.

Mindless rant

December had always been a peculiar month for me in some unfortunate way. This time I was down with dengue, had fever and was bedridden for a week, then having little to no energy for the next and got warded for low blood platelet count. For a moment, I felt like I took my health for granted and experienced a mini existential crisis (what is real life, is this a social construct I'm following? Blue pill or the red pill? What.)

As always, as the year ends, the energy in me depletes, the intrinsic motivation deteriorates and I've somehow transcended into an idle state of mind that I want to do absolutely nothing, then it triggers another existential crisis and then I go through the tantamount to a vicious cycle - such is life.

Is ignorance is a bliss? Should everyone be subjected to conformity? Would society function better that way? The illusion of choice? An top down approach (i.e. an authoritarian economy) would prove more efficient? Then what happens to creative disruption and innovative exuberance? eh stop questioning life la abi, gosh. 

Okok misery aside, I thought it would be nice to summarise this year.

2020 in summary

2020 felt particularly long. The world paused for an unexpectedly brief moment that created a ripple in a series of events, amounting to significant shifts in the way we worked and lived, from a macro policy/economic/organisational level down to the individual. The year felt delirious, rather different and unexpected. At least within my own circle of friends, it's of a general consensus that the year coerced us to pause, to think a little harder and question own personal beliefs and perspectives a little more . 

Personally, 2020 hit a little harder, I've made pivotal decisions that threaded along the grey areas of what is viewed as a norm here in Singapore. I took a leap of faith in many of my own personal choices - in terms the values I wanted to uphold, the kind of lifestyle I wanted to live and the kind of people I wanted to hang out with. These decisions heavily influenced how I felt, that gradually shaped my outlook towards life. I believe that it has been for the better. I've become more aware about myself, not only with age and experience. As difficult as it is, I constantly strive to accept myself as a person in terms of the good, bad and ugly. 

That said, here's an extremely brief summary of the milestones I had for 2020. 

Milestones for 2020

January - 

• started the year completely burned out from 2019
• accomplished almost all my monthly goals
• decided to be consistent on this blog 
• made a habit tracker

February -

• went to the only and very last overseas trip of the year to JB, Malaysia - so sed but was fun 
• Mercer Debates Champions woot woot but I'm still a little salty I didn't get to eat that fancy dinner.. > : - ( heeh

March -

• took a leap of faith an changed my job for the first time in my career life!
• lockdown happened 

April -

• completed my monthly personal finance tracker thingy in terms of expenditure, insurance and investment - in a way, it changed how I viewed money
• questioned my life quite a bit at this point

May -

• picked up a paintbrush and did a 30-day challenge

June -

• picked up a paintbrush and did ANOTHER 30-day challenge - this was crazy tiring but pretty nice to look back on

July -

• role in my new job expanded
• moved out of my parents' place omg
• voted for the first time for Singapore's general elections ^_^ stayed up late to watch the elections (this was dam fun lol)

August - 

• I am officially in the late 20s (how is this even a milestone lol)
• decided to clock some running mileage 
• healthy living (OKAY this I ADMIT WAS TOUGH)
• independent life is awesome :P ok only if you live with the right people haha

September -

• met someone super cool and interesting (how is this a mile stone no.2)
• decided to relive uni days with uni friends and did a case competition 

October -

• got my wisdom teeth pulled out by a student - she did a dam good job btw~
• finish another series of artwork heeh - sloths 

November -

• case comp ended with us being top 5, this was both tiring and fun :P (yes I have very limited vocabulary - everything is fun..) 

December -

• contracted dengue for the second time in my life, got hospitalised, existential crisis, life has its way of throwing curve balls
• couldn't go to the art exhibit that I wanted to because I was sick sed

Other milestones not quantifiable in months

• Blogged super consistently (to date, I am still very amazed with myself) 
• Never used a planner so consistently in my life
• Never painted so much in a year in my life
• Read the most number of books in my entire life (18!) 
• Clocked in >1000km this year - I recorded my runs in too many different places lol 
• Learned so much more about myself mentally and physically 
• Spent my time more wisely, maybe a little too wisely.. 
• Spent more quality time with people I cared about

Summary

While the moments I've mentioned were the more positive series of events, there were many instances that broke me as well. Instances that made me question decisions I made, times where felt really ugly and hated myself, occasions where I completely struggled and burned out. Then again, this is life and how we grow. Life has its ways of throwing curve balls. Funnily, knowing this, it taught me to be more aware about people's own personal struggles and how I approached conversations, learning to be sympathetic, empathetic where possible and compassionate. We're all works in progress and what's to hate in that? Reciprocally, I am extremely thankful for supportive colleagues, ex-colleagues, friends and family who accept parts of me that aren't all that pretty. I hope I'll never take these for granted, ever.

If there were one quintessential takeaway from 2020, it's interesting how "luck" or "chance" can be partly determined by how you choose to look at your own life. It sounds so simple yet conveniently ignored by many and a constant struggle for those who are aware.

That said, as 2020 draws to a close, I'm grateful for the experiences that came, the struggles that I've encountered and the sweet moments that I was able to feel. 

I'm hopeful 2021 will be a better year :)

Goodbye 2020, thanks for the ride.

 

ps. I really wanted to put some moments in 2020 with people inside but I'm abit lazy lol - might do it later, might not. :>